Why This Book Matters

Tangled Web of Words is not just a book—it’s a vital lens through which to understand the invisible tactics that distort communication and destabilise relationships. At its core, this book explores how seemingly ordinary conversations can be misused to confuse, derail, or overpower—what I define as Conversational Control. When taken to extremes, this behaviour forms the foundation of Coercive Control: a pattern of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse that traps individuals in toxic, unequal relationships.

If you've ever felt confused, emotionally knocked off-balance, or unsure why a conversation left you feeling powerless, this book will help you make sense of that experience—and give it language.

 

Who It's For

• Practitioners (social workers, therapists, educators, caseworkers) who need to identify subtle interpersonal dynamics in their clients' lives

• Survivors of relationship abuse or manipulative dynamics seeking clarity and empowerment

• All readers wanting to better understand the intersection of communication, power, and emotional safety

 

What You'll Learn

• The four levels of Conversational Control and how they escalate

• How the misuse of everyday tactics like Arcing Up and Arcing Down can sabotage connection

• The “Middle Column” model—a practical framework for recognising emotionally safe, fair, and grounded conversation

• How Conversational Control becomes a coercive pattern, not just a moment

• Tools for naming, resisting, and recovering from conversational and coercive abuse

 

Book Structure (Chapters at a Glance)

 1. Behind These Pages – My Story 

2. Lessons from the Tangled Web 

3. Are We Having a Conversation or a Power Struggle? – A Conversational Framework 

4. Let’s stay in the Middle Column 

5. How to Respond to Conversational Control

6. Higher Levels of Conversational Control – Coercive Control 

7. Untangling Themes in Conversations

8. Untangling Agendas in Conversations 

9. Why does this matter? 

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Why You’ll Come Back to It

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Tangled Web of Words offers not only insight but language, frameworks, diagrams and validation. Readers often say, “I finally have words for what was happening.” That is the power of this book.

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Available Now

Print & eBook: Order here on Amazon

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Or, order through Your Local Bookstore

• Tangled Web of Words is available worldwide. You can order it online, or ask your local bookstore to order it for you. Just let them know it’s distributed through IngramSpark — the global book distribution platform used by most bookstores. All they need is the book title and my name:

• Title: Tangled Web of Words: A Breakthrough Guide to Conversational and Coercive Control
  Author: Dr Torna Pitman